Duuhhhh.....

School, diet and such.

2010-08-28T18:26:00.003-06:00

Oh my goodness what was I thinking signing up for all these classes. The work load is actually not as bad as I thought it might be but the class schedule is feeling kinda crazy and I'm tired. It's only been a week. I may need to start staying at school between classes and doing homework so that I don't feel like I'm running around all day.

I finished the Diet. Only lost 16lbs because I had to quit early. I didn't want to but I had to. But it's amazing how much 16lbs makes a difference on a short body like mine.

Now I need to start going to some classes at the community center. Yoga or something.

A Secret!!

2010-08-28T18:24:00.000-06:00

I have a secret, I have a secret neener, neener, neener!!!!

Oops

2010-08-15T18:22:00.002-06:00

I had a bad diet day yesterday. I had a bag of jelly beans, a bowl of ice cream, and some mini peanut butter cups. And they tasted soooo good. I've heard that nothing tastes as good as thin feels. But you know there are alot of things in this world that taste pretty darn good. Cheesecake, bacon, avacados, not to mention chocolate. Sigh.
Well, I was down 15lbs last time I checked but that was before yesterday. I'm scared to weigh myself now.
I would love to go to food rehab. I think I need it.

No eating here tonight, eating here tonight, no no no eating here tonight, you're on diet!!!

2010-08-10T15:57:00.002-06:00

So Here I am 17 days in and 13lbs down. I'v only had a hard time once since the first week were I wanted to eat something (or anything) I shouldn't. But I made it, I think. I did take a bite of Mollys cereal this morning but I blame her for that, she woke me up too early and I wasn't thinking clearly.
I really want to cook or bake. Unfortunatly baking is cheaper. But I think I'm safe since i have no flour and the kids don't want to go with me to get some. Oh well.
I am getting WAY tired of fixing meals that I can't eat though. But I have learned to do some things I didn't know before like how to make a real omlette and how to make marinara sauce from scratch. Mmmmm
I have at least 2 weeks left, maybe more depending on how long the drops last, and I'm really hoping I can lose another 15lbs that would rock.

Day #10

2010-08-04T14:42:00.002-06:00

I'm back! I'm on day 10 of the HCG diet and I've lost.......drumroll please.......10lbs!!!! I did have a bit of a stall for a day and I'm not sure what caused that. I'm thinking it might have been a combination of small things, but I'm doing better. I can tell you it is the hardest thing I have ever done. for the first week, all I could think about was food. But after about day 8 I haven't been hungry at all, and i haven't felt as deprived. Don't get me wrong I'd still really love a big peice of cake but it's not the only thing I can think about. Sometimes I think about chocolate instead.
I'm soooo excited to be back into reagular jeans woo-hoo! and I only have 20 days left. Hope there are 20 less pounds after those days.

2010-08-04T01:07:00.001-06:00

Weird dreams

2010-07-31T15:11:00.002-06:00

I had some weird dreams last night. The first one I was at my parents house and my mom said she was going down to be with my oldest sister while she had a baby. Then she didn't come back. I was angry that she left since I was just visiting and had my kids with me and I felt like she didn't care about us. Then her and my sister came with the baby. The baby was super cute, her name was Maya but she spelled it Mya. The room my kids and I were staying in was also a candy store (not helping the diet much), and the kids kept eating things and I'd have to pay for it.

The second dream, we were getting our car fixed on Christmas day for some reason. But it was taking a REALLY long time. We had to take the car in to the shop before we opened presents. I kept trying to call people to say marry christmas but no one would answer their phone, and no one ever called me back. There was a moment that the lights went out in the shop and Molly got on the computer and fixed things to get our car done faster. It turned out the shop was siphoning gas from the vehicals and selling it and then charging people more because their car took longer to fix. I got into a fist fight with the shop owner and threw Strawberry soda ate him.
When we finally got home it was so late we told the kids we were going to make them wait till the next day to open gifts (it was Christmas remember). Then there was a knock at the door, Harry and I answered it and Harry was beyond excited to see........DEATH pretending to be the Hogfather. He brought us presents.

I'm losing my mind!

I want to eat!!!

2010-07-31T15:08:00.002-06:00

I'm on day 4 of the low calorie part of the diet and I want to eat sooo bad. I am so addicted to food it's horrible. I want to eat cereal and sandwiches and donuts and chocolate and ice cream and cookies and anything else that I can get my hands on. I'm in no way hungry or in need of these foods. I just want them.
On the plus side I have lost 5lbs, woo-hoo!!!!

The HCG diet

2010-07-29T14:50:00.003-06:00

When I had Molly almost three years ago, I had gained 20lbs during the pregnancy. After she was born the weight began dropping off with very little effort. I lost 40lbs by the time she was 6 months old. I was looking pretty darn good.
Then I had an episode of depression and was put into a mental hospital for a week. The medication I was put on caused me to gain weight. I was on it for a month and gained 20lbs. I tried dieting, I tried working out almost everyday, I tried everything I knew how to do and nothing worked.
Fast forward a year and I'm still holding on to those 20lbs. Then my Mom died. The depression sent me searching for food. Bread, cake, brownies, cookies etc. And I gained another 10lbs. Ugh!
So, now I'm 50lbs overweight and actually considered obese. I can't wear my regular jeans anymore and feel like garbage. The depression obviously hasn't gotten any better due to the exrta weight and the way it makes me feel about myself. I'm still pretty fit, but the weight just wont go!
I had been researching diets plans and such for a while and finally decided to take the plunge. I ordered the HCG drops a few weeks ago and did the preperations necessary to follow the plan.
I started the drops, 6 drops, 6 times a day, on July 26th. The first 2 days you are supposed to eat anything and everything and basically stuff yourself. It sounds weird I know but by the end of the second day I was so sick of food I didn't care that I wasn't going to be able to eat much of it in the next month.
On day 3 I began the super low calorie diet. 500 calories a day using only the approved foods. So basically I'm eating chicken, a few veggies and apples. The first day of this low cal stuff wasn't too bad. I had a few moments of craving sugar, and felt pretty hungry by bed time but not too bad.
To explain a little more about the HCG it is the hormone produced by pregnant women that helps sustain a pregnancy. It allows the body to used stored fat for nourishment and energy if the mom isn't eating the right things for the baby. So that's what it's doing for me. It's telling my body to use that stored fat instead of what I'm eating.
I will only be on the drops for 30 days, maybe a little more. And should lose at least 20lbs

America's next top diaper model

2010-04-07T17:00:00.002-06:00

My daughter the fashion model

Worst blogger EVER!

2010-03-26T22:23:00.002-06:00

Man I'm bad at this. I never have anything witty to say. I'm usually the person with sarcastic remarks about other people and what they're doing. It's hard to talk about my own life.
Molly is potty training. She loves her underpants but she hasn't once made it to the potty. I hope she doesn;t take as long as Harry and Liam did.
I'm totally stuck for things to say. There are things going on but we are keeping them to ourselves for now, and since I don't know who even reads this I guess I will just not say anything. Too late.

A New Year

2009-12-30T12:07:00.002-07:00

I am not going to admit to the typical desires of losing weight etc. My goal for this year is to become stronger. In every sense of the word, stronger.
Stronger physically. I really want to be able to keep up with my children. I hate getting tired after only a few runs down the sledding hill (or a few climbs up actually)
Stronger emotionally. I don't want to be so affected by minor things, and so reliant on others for my emotional well being.
Stronger mentally. I need to have a better understanding of the world I live in and how I can make it better.
Stronger spiritually. I need to feel the spirit in my home more. To know that my children feel it.

I would also like to be a stronger wife, mother, and daughter.

Life is good!!!

2009-11-10T10:00:00.001-07:00

Life is essentially good. I have three wonderful, heathy, children. My husband is amazing and works so hard for us. I'm so lucky to be able to stay home with my children. I may not have all the opportunities that I'd like right at my fingertips but I have hope that I will someday reach those goals. My kids are messy but things can be cleaned. My husband is not always as attentive as I'd like but he loves us. I may not have the kind of friendships that I'd like to have with people who live close to me, but I have an incredible support system in my branch.
I am working on accepting that I have a mental illness, the same as if I had a physical illness. No matter how I feel or what I think, life is never as bad as it seems.

I want to go back in time.

2009-08-04T13:25:00.002-06:00

I'd like the ability to go back in time to when my kids were babies. Everytime I need a baby to hold I can just go hold my own without having another one.
I love everything about having a new baby. The smells, the sounds, the cuddling, the cute tiny body parts, having someone to watch the Twilight Zone with at 2am, etc etc.
But hard as I try to keep them babies, they keep growing up. I love watching them grow up but a large part of me still needs a baby. Will I ever get to the point where I'm ok with not having a baby? Maybe I need a job where I take care of babies all day.

Molly's little hide-out

2009-06-25T18:20:00.004-06:00

Molly got a new bed. Right now it's in the dining room and has become her sancuary. she drags her toys in there and her lunch and everything else she can get her hands on. Her brothers are not allowed to bother her in her car.

Poor Poor Molly

2009-04-22T20:45:00.005-06:00

Molly has pneumonia and had to be in the hospital for a little while. Trying to get an IV started in an 18 month old is no picnic. After all the attention she has gotten over the past week she has really turned into a beast. She is quite indignant that we haven't given her brothers up for adoption in order to focus all our time and attention on her. How dare we. She has perfected the "but I'm sick" look, not to mention the sad cough.
She looks awfully happy for a sick kid and charmed all the nurses. Random people walking by her room would come in to say hello because they heard her giggling.

Kids ruin all my fun!!!

2009-04-10T13:44:00.001-06:00

I told the kids yesterday when we bought the egg decorating kits, that we would decorate the eggs on friday. I guess they took that to me as soon as it was friday they could do it themselves.
I came down the stairs this morning to a lovely pink and blue carpet in my living room, raw eggs every where, and both egg kits totally destroyed. Ugh, WHY?!

My kids are growing up.

2009-02-03T18:24:00.009-07:00

Liam is 6 and Harry is 4! We asked the boys what they wanted for their birthdays a while ago. Liam asked to go to the Nickelodean amusement park at the Mall of America, and Harry asked for his babysitter Dana. So on the 31st of Jan. we drove the 6 hours (both ways) to the cities, and took Dana with us. She apparently belongs to Harry now.
We had a great time. Even Molly had fun even though she's too little to ride anything.

Driving Big rigs like Uncle Mark.

Molly modeling a cool SpongeBob hat.

With Dana at Wendy's on the way home from the Mall.

Babies on the brain

2009-01-23T15:29:00.005-07:00

I can't stop thinking about babies. I was doing some online window shopping and found the cutest things. How do I stop this obsession?!

Christmas!

2008-12-29T11:42:00.004-07:00

We had a wonderful chirstmas full of fun and food and sledding!

Molly Smiles

2008-11-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

She's one!

2008-10-24T13:20:00.007-06:00

Molly Flynn is a year old! I can't believe it. Time flies when you're counting firsts.

October 22nd 2007

October 22nd 2008

Update

2008-09-26T15:19:00.003-06:00

I haven't updated in a while so here it is. I'm back in school and may actually graduate finally in the spring. I'm working as a model every now and then at Minnesota State University.
Liam has started School and is doing really well with his numbers and letters and stuff. And has started reading.
Harry isn't really sure what to do with himself all day without Liam. But he has gymnastics on Thursdays and is loving it. We are still negotiating the potty training thing.
Molly is crawling all over the place and working on standing. She says Dada, Mama, Harry, and Amanda (weird I know) and she thinks she is the funniest thing ever. I can't believe she'll be a year old in a month.

Go to Youtube and search adkinsjm for a handful of videos of us.

Me

2008-08-09T19:30:00.002-06:00

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Movie theatre
2. Nanny
3. Victoria's Secret
4. Mommy

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. The Village
2. Toy Story (1 and 2)(Does it have to be by choice)
3. The R.M.
4. Aladdin

Four Places you have (are) lived (ing):
1. Pine Jct. Colorado
2. Las Vegas, Nevada
3. Orem, Utah
4. Frazee, Minnesota

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. CSI
2. The Office
3. Heros
4. America's next top model

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disneyland
2. Walt Disney World
3. Utah
4. Las Vegas

Four Notes on the Treble Clef:
1. F#
2. A
3. C
4. Eb

Four websites I visit daily:
1. Mormonchic.com
2. spinoff sisters
3. camfrog
4. craig's list

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Manderine chicken salad
2. waffles
3. cereal
4. hawaiian sweet rolls

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. A nice resturant with my honey
2. A medeocre resturant with my honey
3. A fastfood resturant with my honey
4. I can't say this last one in mixed company (ask me later honey)

Four times of the day:
1. The first scream of the morning (usually around 7:30a.m.)
2. the first time Liam asks if it's lunch time yet (about 5 minutes after breakfast)
3. time to get the kids ready to leave the house
4. time to actually leave the house (around 2 hours later)

Four songs you would want played at your funeral:
1. Night on bald mountain (Moussorgsky)
2. Purple people eater
3. Itsy Bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini
4. The Animaniacs theme song

Four cars you've owned:
1. Chrysler E-class(black)
2. Geo Metro(red)
3. Ford Contour(light blue)
4. Chevy Cavalier(ugly)

Four concerts you've been to:
1. Bryan Adams (with Aaron)
2. Chicago (with Aaron)
3. Rush (with Aaron)
4. Squarrel Nut Zippers (with Aaron)

The Fantastic Four:
1. Jason
2. Liam
3. Harrison
4. And Molly!

Four people of the opposite sex you've kissed:
1. Sean Robertson
2. Jason Adkins
That's it.

Four celebrities you've had (have) crushes on:
1. Heath Ledger
2. Ewan McGregor
3. Alexis Denisof
4. Darkwing Duck

Four favorite breakfast foods:
1. Cookie crisp cereal
2. French Toast
3. Waffles
4. slimfast

Four characters in the Greek Alphabet:
1. Alpha
2. Beta
3. Gamma
4. Delta

Four nicknames you've been called:
1. Amanda-Panda
2. the innocent
3. Snicker -doodle
4. Others I can't say

Four children or teenagers you'd most want to hang out with right now:
1. Julia's girls
2. Tommy
3. Myself as a child
4. Jason as a teenager

Four horsemen of the apocalypse:
1. Teething
2. weaning
3. Potty-Training
4. Bedtime

Four places you'd like to retire to:
1. Ireland
2. New Zealand
3. My own secluded compound in the wilderness
4. My bed

Four things you'd like to change about the world:
1. People's priorities
2. eliminate cars
3. movie prices
4. cost of living

Four things you can't live without:
1. Family
2. blankets
3. a bathtub
4. air

Four jobs you'd like to have:
1. Movie watcher
2. inventor of new math
3. ice cream taster
4. baby washer

We are finally settled

2008-06-28T10:15:00.002-06:00

Here we are in beautiful Frazee, Minnesota. We are completely unpacked, pictures on the walls, and most everything has a place to be. We have joined the community center in Detroit lakes (or DL as people here call it) and our branch has welcomed us with open arms.
Jason is loving his job, and the kids are enjoying have a room just for there toys.
As soon as my new camera comes I'll get some pictures up.

Jason is starting his new life

2008-04-29T22:12:00.002-06:00

Jason left today for Minnesota. He starts work on Thursday. The kids and I are on our own until June. So, so sad for us. But yay for starting our life. It's about stinkin' time.

Graduation!!!!

2008-04-29T22:07:00.002-06:00

He did it! He did it!

Moving

2008-04-13T22:18:00.002-06:00

We are moving to Minnesota!
http://www.visitdetroitlakes.com/
So far we have no place to live, but Jason starts work for the Detroit Lakes Tribune on May 1st.
We are going to have to invest in snow boots.

Just like Daddy

2008-03-22T15:21:00.002-06:00

Molly likes her Coke!

What candy am I?

2008-03-15T13:53:00.001-06:00

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

I am kinda Smooshie!

My name

2008-02-12T19:50:00.002-07:00

What Amanda Means

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.
You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.
You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Most of those things are true whith the exeption of knocking people down who get in my way. A polite "excuse me" works just fine.
I'm not sure I'm very confident or aggressive either.

Happy endings, or realistic?

2008-02-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

I've been an avid reader since I was a kid, I've read a lot of what would probably be considered "Fairy tales" meaning the story no matter how normal it seems really has no basis in reality. I think it may have messed up my perception of the real world. I always expected to have a passionate romance, that we would overcome all odds to be together etc. etc.

The problem is: realistic endings are totally depressing. When no matter how much the couple loves each other they just aren't able to be together and they wind up heartbroken.
Although, happy endings can also be depressing because it sounds so wonderful and it's sad that the world isn't that way.

Maybe I should just watch some mindless television.

Random thoughts

2008-01-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

How cute is a button?
Is it a compliment to be the "Spitting" image of someone?
Why do men say while watching sports "oh, that's it. It's all over" but then they keep watching for 30 minutes?
Why does a football game with only 60 minutes of actual play time take 4 hours to watch?
Why do such small babies take up so much space?!

And finally. How cute are these kids?!

I need a friend!

2007-12-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

I love my husband, and I love my children, but I need another person to talk to and maybe see a movie with sometimes. Jason doesn't want to be my only connection to the outside world and I can't blame him. After spending all day with the under 5 set, I just want some time with someone who can wipe their own nose and carry on a conversation that isn't about spongebob.

Some pictures of our trip.

2007-12-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

Molly loves her Daddy

Playing at Newport beach

Bein' Goofy

That's a BIG ant!

What's with the hair?

Our Thanksgiving rump roast

Molly on her blessing day

Short update

2007-12-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Disneyland and one of the worst drives of my life. I'll try to share some other time.

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Spiderman

"I have always been standing in your doorway. Isn't it about time somebody saved your life?"

What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

I'm back!

2007-12-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

So, after losing my computer for quite some time, it has returned and now I have to update on my little family.

Molly is all smiles......sometimes.

I'll have to finish this later, This is not one of Molly's happy times.

Halloween piictures

2007-11-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Molly in her witch outfit.

Mmmmmm candy!

Cute pictures

2007-11-04T22:56:00.001-07:00

Playing with Liam and Harry.

How cute is Molly?

After a bath.

What color is that?

2007-11-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

I can't figure out what to tell people when they ask what color Molly's hair is. So, here's a picture of her head, I didn't use a flash, there are no lighting tricks, that really is what her hair looks like, streaks and all. What color is that?

She's here!!!

2007-10-24T19:23:00.001-06:00

On Monday afternoon at 1:10 pm Molly Flynn came into the world. She was born after only 5 1/2 hours of pitocin and she is wonderful. 7lbs 11 oz, 19 1/2 in. So far she's pretty easy going but I'm not dumb enough to think that she will definitely stay that way.

30 minutes old and getting to know Mommy.

After my first bath

Meeting my brothers (Mommy looks mad but she really wasn't)

Molly's Christmas dress

2007-10-18T20:26:00.000-06:00

Grandma bought Molly her first Christmas dress

Is it not the cutest thing EVER!

THE MOLLY IS COMING, THE MOLLY IS COMING!!!

2007-09-27T23:35:00.000-06:00

I had some time alone with Harry today, so we decided to put together the bassinette. It is now sitting in the corner of my bedroom, I keep stairing at it and thinking "Oh my heck, we're having a baby!".
Harry was even less help putting the thing together than he was the last time I did it (the last time being when I was pregnant with him). At least then he didn't keep running off with my tools, and loosening bolts just as fast as I could tighten them. So, once we got it all put together I couldn't resist taking this picture.

He was so much smaller the last time he was in there.

A few days ago I took the boys to Babies r us. As soon as we walked in Liam got all excited and said "Mommy, it's a whole store for Molly!" Then he wanted to know what we were going to get her, he kept picking things up and and asking if we were going to get this for Molly. He finally settled on some pacifiers with pink stripped kitties on them. He is just so excited for his new baby sister.
Harry on the other hand would rather not talk about it. It took us forever to get him to even admit there was a baby in mommy's tummy. And now we are working on getting him to say her name. Even tho' he is perfectly capable of making the M sound, he calls her Lolly.
So for those of you just tuning in WE'RE HAVING A BABY! In less than 4 weeks! Her name is Molly, and we are soooo excited! At least Jason, Liam and I are excited.

Do four year olds really need ipods?

2007-08-06T17:04:00.000-06:00

Liam has taken a liking to my ipod. He listens to The Wiggles, Veggietales, and Grandpa Carter. He learned all the controls faster than I did, but I'm not sure how he finds what he wants since he still pretends he can't read.
Next thing you know he's going to be asking for a cell phone.

It's LIAM

2007-07-29T23:35:00.000-06:00

This is Liam's representation of himself. Notice he has no mouth but he was sure to put five fingers on each hand, and he gave himself a belly button.

Baby's car seat

2007-06-28T12:48:00.000-06:00

I hate the boring plain patterns on most car seats, so i cover my kids seats to better reflect their personalities. Since I don't know much about this little one's personality yet she just got a cute baby pattern for now.

Of course that is isn't a real baby, I just needed something to adjust the straps, and she just looks so cute.

Our baby girl's first dress

2007-06-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

I found it at a yard sale for fifty cents.

BASEBALL!

2007-06-22T20:42:00.000-06:00

We went to a baseball game for Father's day (well the day before). Since it was before Father's day the were giving away ties at the gate, that's why Liam is wearing a tie.

The boys had a great time trying to stick the foam finger up their noses (and everyone else's)

Aunt Emily introduced the kids to blue cotton candy and blue sno cones!

I was wrong!

2007-06-13T15:01:00.000-06:00

We are having a girl!! I was so sure that we were having another boy. Now I'm really confused. I don't know what to do with a girl, I have no clothes for a girl, I have nothing girly in my house at all.

Just a little something

2007-05-29T16:31:00.000-06:00

I just thought I write a little something since it's been awhile since I've updated. Nothing much different around here. I'm sick of school, my husbands never home, I don't like being a single mom, I'm in a lot of pain related to the pregnancy, basically I'm just feeling down about life.
On the up side of things, we get to find out what type of baby we are having next week, I already know it's a boy but just like the last 2 times no one believes me.
Liam can write his own name but won't do it. I was watching him play with a magnadoodle and he wrote perfectly L I A M. I've asked him to do it again and he refuses.
Harry's going through the tempermental twos, the slightest thing will set him off and someone better be there to offer a hug and his rocking chair.
I'll try to let everyone know after the ultrasound that I was right.

When Harry doesn't get a nap.

2007-04-26T12:18:00.000-06:00

Going...........

Going..........

GONE!

Our very own blob!

2007-04-10T12:39:00.000-06:00

Head, body, arms, legs, and a heartbeat. What more could you want.

Darkwing and Josh

2007-03-31T10:30:00.000-06:00

My current favorite song and my all time favorite cartoon!

DISNEYLAND!!!

2007-03-17T10:10:00.000-06:00

Our first trip to Disneyland!

Liam and Minnie.

Where are we?!

Harry the wizard.

Liam and Aunt Missy goofing around.

Harry was pooped by 5 o'clock.

Finally we got to see Mickey!

I'm Pregnant!

2007-02-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

I am sick to my stomach, exhausted, achy, and gearing up for 8 more months of the same and then some. I'm so excited! I'm building a whole new person!

Liam's Career choices

2007-02-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

He is working towards being a city planner........

.......or the next Jerry Lee Lewis.

New Diapers

2007-01-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

I've been sewing. These are a few of Harry's new cloth diapers.

Liam's Day

2007-01-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

Harry's Day

2007-01-18T16:48:00.000-07:00

I want my baby

2007-01-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

My "baby" is two years old at the end of the month. I need baby to fill my arms when I rock in the rocking chair. I need someone who will let me hold him while he sleeps and doesn't mind me smelling the back of his neck, I need that sweet baby smell. I need a baby to nurse when I'm up at 4am. I miss those first little smiles and giggles, those little sqeaky noises as he sleeps.
I understand newborn babies, I understand they need to be fed, changed, held and loved, and sometimes they need to cry. I can handle all that. I do not understand toddlers, they get upset over everything and there is nothing I can do, they have their own ideas about things, they don't want to be held for no reason, they don't want what you feed them, They don't want to be in diapers but they don't want to use the potty either, and I don't know how to help them.
There is only one thing to do about this problem. Make sure my toddlers are safe, warm and loved and have another baby.

Happy New Year part II

2007-01-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

Harrison celebrating.....

the new year.....
with some....
sparkling cider.

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

This hasn't been a terrebly exciting year, just school and junk. We got a new car in June (thanks dad!), Jason started his new exciting career in journalism, and we moved all the way from Provo to Orem. We have been on a few trips: Jason has been to California 3 times, Canada, Las Vegas, Colorado, and Pheonix. Amanda has been to Colorado 3 times, Las Vegas, and Pheonix. The boys have been to Colorado twice, Las Vegas, and Phoenix.
This coming year: more school, hopefully a new baby next fall, more traveling for various reasons, the daunting task of potty training Harry etc. etc.

Too many toys!

2006-12-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

The boys playing with the "Star fortress command center"

What on earth am I supposed to do with all these toys?
This is only half of Harry's pile, not half the toys, half of Harry's toys. I'm so lucky to have such great inlaws, we didn't have to buy anything if we didn't want to. I'd show a picture of me using my new shower head but this isn't one of those blogs.

Liam Triumphant!

2006-12-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

Liam has learned to use the potty! I swear, the first time he went into the bathroom by himself without being asked, I heard the halleluja chorus. It's been a long road but I finally have a little boy instead of a baby.

Christmas

2006-12-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Santa Baby

Harry decorating his first real Christmas tree. Actually he's probably taking things off but why split hairs.

The lights on Temple Square. This was my first time seeing them.

My saintly husband at Temple Square.

Funny things kids say.

2006-12-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

My son Liam loves this show on the Disney channel called Handy Manny. Handy Manny fixes things, people call him and he comes and fixes anything.
So, Liam has been working hard to learn how to use the potty for the last few weeks. When we first started he would sit and sit and sit and nothing would happen. One afternoon he got tired of waiting and he looked down and cried "Mommy it's broken, we need to call Handy Manny!"

I'm Back

2006-11-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

I took a little break from posting so I don't know if anyone still reads this. Hellooooo out there!

If I was a baby.

2006-04-11T23:42:00.000-06:00

If I was a baby I would hate to wake up in the morning in a crib. Oh, it's great at night it keeps me from falling on the floor but in the morning it's just not fair that all I can do is watch as my big brother plays with all the toys.
If I was a baby I would get really annoyed with people sticking their fingers in my mouth to feel my teeth. I don't get to stick my fingers in their mouths.
If I was a baby I would throw any baby-food given to me on the floor until I got pizza like everyone else. If they don't want to eat "chicken broccoli dinner" why should I?
If I was a baby I would feel the need to protest being changed, not being changed, being put to bed, waking up, having to take a bath, being taken out of the bath, I would want to rock with mommy but not go to sleep, I would want to play with my brother but get really angry when he tried to play with me, I'd eat my cookies really fast and then throw a fit when no one will give me theirs etc. etc.
If I was a baby I would have the sweetest smile that no one could resist and would make people forgive me anything.

Cute naked baby!

2006-03-25T23:22:00.000-07:00

People who don't have children may wonder why those of us who do, always have to take naked pictures of their babies. Look at him, isn't he cute.

I am Princess Leia

2006-02-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

Minus the funky hair and clothes.

Been a long time.

2006-02-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

I don't really have much to say but I thought I ought to write something. Ummm.....something. Someday I'll have something interesting if I have the time to write it. I have to write a research paper on the effects of pornography on families. Wish me luck, I haven't written a research paper since I was 14.

Harry Christmas!

2005-12-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

Harry wasn't really sure what was happening, everything he opened his brother took away from him.

Train ride

2005-12-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun taking the train to Grandma's house for Christmas.

Liam and Harry.

2005-12-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

Aunt Missy gave us a digital camera for Christmas, Woo-Hoo!

IT'S HARRY!

2005-12-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

Harry loves to rock!

What's wrong with me.

2005-12-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

My husband and I were joking around and he asked what was wrong with me, so I said I could give him a list but it might take a while. He told me I should put it in my blog.
So, here it is the list of what's wrong with me.
-I'm lazy
-I eat poorly
-I don't exercise
-I'm overweight (that's kind of a given after those last 2)
-I don't like to do dishes (so I don't)
-I have a little bit of OCD (as Jason has learned the hard way I will remake the bed in the middle of the night, with him in it)
-I have severe postpartum depression
-I'm an insomniac
-I would rather play with playdough than clean the house (ok I'd rather do just about anything than clean the house)
-I'm a shopaholic (makes very little sense for someone with no money)
-I have no fashion sense
-I have a really hard time making friends
-I'm very insecure and need constant reassurance (especially when it comes to my cooking and the way I look)
I'm sure the list could go on if I really thought about it, but why would I want to. The good news is the list of what's right with me is longer and much more important. As for Jason, there is nothing wrong with him! He is practically perfect in every way (no wait, that's Mary Poppins).

I'm ever so old.

2005-11-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

I have just turned 27 OH NO! In this day and age when life expectancy is so much longer than in previous centuries, why on earth should I feel so old at only 27. If I live to be 80 that means I have almost twice my lifetime to this point remaining. However, now-a-days when there are so many diseases and such what will be my quality of life be for those years. Strange that life is so much longer but overall health is decreased.
Well, I'll learn how to knit and start using anti-wrinkle cream and see which suits me best, submitting to old age or trying to fight it.

A Message From The Lord.

2005-10-26T23:16:00.000-06:00

I have been feeling a little less than spiritual lately. I spend all day changing diapers, wiping noses, making bottles, cleaning yogurt off the floor (and refrigerator and table and wall and child and myself), cooking meals, doing my homework etc. etc. When do I have the time or the energy to seek out the Lord in my life?
So, I was feeling really crummy about this the other day and that very night I had the following dream: My doorbell rings (which is weird since I don't have a doorbell). I answer it and in comes Gordon B. Hinckley. He sits on the couch, like he comes over and hangs out at my house all the time and I treat him as such. I think to myself this would be the perfect time to ask him how I can achieve more spirituality in my life. I mean who better to ask right, and how often do you get that opportunity? But do I ask? No, I give him pie and we watch Blue's Clues!
My interpretation of this dream is that I have the resources and the answers right in front of me, in my own home, but I don't use them, I just sit and watch cartoons.

P.S. I'm not sure if it matters but it didn't sound like it was even good pie, it was lemon/pumpkin pie. Doesn't that sound gross? How could I do that to the Prophet?!

I'm not complaining!

2005-09-15T22:25:00.000-06:00

I just asked my husband why he always has negative things on his blog, so this is not negative. I wanted to comment on how much I LOVE cell phones. I love listening to other people's conversations wherever I go ( apparently you have to yell when you use a cell phone). I love every class I'm in getting interrupted by someone's phone, and they ALWAYS answer it! I actually called someone once not realizing she was in the hospital having a baby at that very moment and her husband who answered handed her the phone! Oh and My all time favorite; I was sitting in a movie theatre watching a suspensful, somewhat scary movie and the girl sitting next to me was text messaging the whole time! Those screens are bright. Plus she was messaging someone who was also in the theatre but was sitting somewhere else.
I'm so glad that so many people now are important enough to need a way to get a hold of them at all times. And it's not just doctors and drug dealers. I'm so glad my friend in Seattle can call me from the bowling ally, and the Chinese restaurant, and the video game store, and her car. Because I would hate for her to get bored just talking to me. I'm also so glad that people have something to distract them from the tediousness of driving now. I hate it when all I have to do is follow traffic laws and not get into accidents. Man I wish I had someone to talk to while I cut people off and ignore traffic lights.
See, I'm not complaining this was all the positive feelings I have about cell phones. Okay, so I'm sure they aren't all bad, but what is it they say about things that can be used for good......

Grandpa's sure know how to pick 'em.

2005-08-10T22:11:00.000-06:00

My darling son Liam was nicknamed Lammy before he was even born. So for his first Easter his Grandpa got him a little purple lamb. Liam loved that thing so much. He would suck on it and just hold it in his hand while he slept. Well Liam gave up the nickname and the lamb at around 18 months. He has since adopted a monkey that his Grandpa Adkins sent for Christmas last year as his new friend. We have to include monkey in bedtime stories, and prayer and we have to kiss monkey good night and tuck him into bed (even if Liam isn't lying down and doesn't want a blanket or a pillow, monkey has to be on the pillow under the blanket.). Liam also has Ducky who was also purchased by Grandpa at the Deseret book store. While Ducky doesn't get included in everything he still must be tucked in along with Monkey.
So, now we have little Harrison, when Harrison was a month old his Grandpa bought him a "Hare". Get it?! Hare-ison Ha-Ha! Anyways, just in the last few weeks as Harry has learned to roll around his crib we often times catch him doing just what Liam did with that Lamb, with his little bunny. It's not small enough to hold in his hands so he sucks on a paw and just rolls around with it like a wrestler. And even tho' he has other animals in his crib we always catch him with the bunny.
Well this was kind of an anti-climatic boring post but there you go, Grandpa's know their stuffed toys.

What Women Want

2005-08-06T03:26:00.000-06:00

I have been married now for about 31/2 years, and I love my husband dearly, but. He is the most unromantic man in the world! I'm sorry honey but you are. So, for the 3 people who read my blog (I know you are all men) here's what women want. Or in other words here's what I want.
I want *someone (*read Jason) to express some appreciation for what I do and not just notice when I haven't done it. i.e. Doing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen/living room/bathroom/babies room, cooking dinner. I will be the first to admit that I don't do much laundry or dishes because I hate doing those things and I have been blessed with a husband who does pick up the slack in those areas and for that I am truly grateful.
I want *someone to recognize and be proud of my talents and achievements. (though they may be few and far between) A couple of examples: about a year and a half ago I got sick of looking at the little puppies that adorn the trunks we use as night stands. Since I knew we could not afford new night stands I scrounged up a little bit of money, went to Wal-Mart and bought a couple of yards of dollar fabric. I brought it home and with no pattern and just by measuring the trunks I made covers for them that fit almost perfectly. When *someone came home I was really excited to show him what I had done. I showed him, and did what most women do I pointed out that they didn't fit exactly right thinking he would say "oh no they look great, that's so great that you could do that!" or something along those lines. But no, he gave me the most crushing line he could have. He said with a completely blank expression "oh well I can just get myself a night stand at D.I." Even just writing that makes me remember how sad I was and still am every time I see those stupid trunks. The other example has to do with the math class I am taking. Math is REALLY hard for me and so I have been working extra hard to at least pass this class. I think about it all the time, I go over procedures and orders and rules in my head every night before I fall asleep, I spend hours on homework almost every night. I was having *someone check my homework when I was done but he always made it seem like it was such an imposition and after he checked it instead of saying encouraging things like "Wow you got 22 problems right and only 3 need to be looked at again" He would just tell me everything I did wrong. That hurt every time he did it. I stopped asking him for help when he told me that he didn't want to do my homework for me and if I didn't understand it I needed to go to the math lab. I want *someone to see how hard I try even if I don't succeed.
I want *someone to stop thinking that just because he's already got me for eternity he doesn't have to try anymore. You don't work really hard to impress girls you date and do everything they like to do and try and spend as much time as you can with them only to treat your wife like you don't care what she thinks of you. It doesn't make sense to me to go out of your way to be your best self for virtual strangers and not even try for your eternal companion and the mother of your children. Actually maybe it does make a little sense, your eternal companion will always love you. Where as virtual strangers may not like you at all if you showed that side.
A few other things that I want: A good kiss at least once a day(morning breath or not, you used to not care before we got married), At least ten minutes of serious conversation a day (without sarcastic comments or quotes from the Simpsons), I'd like to be asked how I'm feeling once in a while (whether physical or emotional), I'd like to be asked my opinion on things as if my opinion mattered (as if I hadn't already given it forcefully).
I suppose this could go on for quite some time so I'll just stop now. I'm sorry for those of you who are not *someone (I guess everyone is someone) but I think if you ask any woman what she wants her list wouldn't differ much from mine.

http://www.ldslivingonline.com/story1.php?aid=507

P.S. Jason this link is for you.

Why can't I run other peoples lives?

2005-07-15T22:53:00.000-06:00

I know what's best for everyone but myself, so why can't I just be in charge of someone else's life for a while.
I have this friend, she has been my friend for longer than anyone else ever (other than my brother). She is ruining her eternity. I can't say she is ruining her life (although it is certainly a possibility) because plenty of people in this world are doing exactly what she is and they think they are just fine. I know better, and she knows better. She just doesn't care right now.
I taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ side by side with this girl. We studied and prayed and struggled together to teach people we cared about why they shouldn't do the things that the world sees as ok. And now she has not just slipped into these things gradually or unknowingly she has jumped with both feet. I would never in a million years be judge her for I myself have struggled and slipped on occasion. But I hurt for her like a parent for a wayward child. If you read my post about teenagers you know how I feel about this. I have too many Sisters that have gone down this path I'm not sure I can handle one more.
I suppose since I can't run other people's lives I will just add one more person to my prayers.

Getting Our Priorities straight

2005-07-06T21:17:00.000-06:00

My Husband and I recently took a trip to Las Vegas, and while I've always known the people in this country have their priorities very askew. Nothing will re-enforce this knowledge than a few minutes in a multi-billion dollar casino. It has always bothered me to see how much people (myself included) are willing to pay for entertainment. And how little people want to get involved in their children's education or anything else. One hotel/casino in this case The Aladdin cost $1.02 billion to build and I can't even guess how much money they take in in a day. I've seen people throw away as much as $5,000 all at once and not even blink.
Now I'm not supporting communism or anything but I understand the ideal behind it. The problem is people seem to need someone to tell them what to do. In the case of all the attempts at communism throughout history that person has turned into a dictator. In the case of our country right now, Hollywood and the media seems to be our dictator, and many are following.
My point is (if I have one) if the money from one hotel/casino or one big budget movie (including the money these things would take in) were put into the school system, or into making affordable housing for those of us that can't afford it but want to be proud of where we live, it wouldn't change the world but it would change lives. And maybe if it gave more kids a chance and desire to go to college they could continue to change lives and who knows maybe they could change the world.

What the heck is Algebra?!

2005-06-24T20:00:00.000-06:00

I recently began taking a Pre-algebra class at the local college. I got through almost 2 classes before I had to reveal my own stupidity and ask the teacher what the heck he was talking about. Who in their right mind would estimate that adding 248 and 25 would result in 200? That's just stupid! Who decided all this? Who made up these words that nobody seems to be able to explain in English? AND WHAT IS AN IMAGINARY NUMBER!!!! Isn't it bad enough to try an figure out the numbers we do have, do we have to make up more?

Believing in something

2005-06-19T00:33:00.000-06:00

Why do some people spend so much energy complaining about things they don't believe in, and trying to convince other people not to believe in it either? Why don't they spend this energy finding something they can believe in? Or why do they pick one little aspect of something and decide, because they disagree with that one thing everything must be wrong? Of course I know the answers to all these questions but I just don't understand why people act so illogically. I for one don't believe in Buddhism but I don't spend all my time researching more things about Buddhism that make me not believe in it (actually Buddhism has some really good things about it). I just want people to respect one another and their beliefs, is that ever going to happen?

Why I'm afraid to have teenagers

2005-06-12T22:23:00.000-06:00

Have you noticed the state of the world lately? Kids are being bombarded from every side with pure trash and filth. My children are safe as long as they are young and only influenced by what I allow into my home, but that can only last for so long. In 4 years my oldest son is going to start school and I will no longer be in control of every thing that he is exposed to. I feel that once he starts school it will be me and my husband fighting the world for our son. The world expects and encourages teenagers to experience everything and experiment. The problem with that is many of the things they are pushed towards are addictive and dangerous. How do I help my children understand that even though the whole world says it's ok, it really isn't.

Confessions of a Star Wars addict

2005-06-10T22:15:00.000-06:00

I'm not a crazy person that could tell you the exact number of sand people on Tatooine, or why Darth Vader didn't sense that Laia was his daughter, but I know stuff and definitely have my opinions about other stuff.
Okay so if you haven't seen Episode Three don't read this because it will either spoil it or it just won't make sense. The emperor says that only one has ever cheated death, and then Yoda tells Obi Wan that Qui-gon is back and going to train him, does that mean he is the one? The emperor also tells Anakin that there was a Sith that could manipulate midi-clorians and create life, is that where Anakin came from, remember his mother said he has no Father? Does Anakin actually bring balance to the force by being the evil counterpart to his own son? And how is the force balanced, does there have to be good and evil?
As for my addiction, I have sons named Liam and Harrison you do the math. In fact I was watching the original Star Wars while in the hospital giving birth to my second son and all those annoying contractions just kept distracting me.

A day in the life

2005-06-09T22:15:00.000-06:00

I wake up. This is my first opportunity of the day to trash my room. Mommy has foolishly folded my blankets and stacked them nicely and that can't be left alone. Mommy finally wakes up when I unplug the baby monitor and blast her with static. Then it's on to a full day of making mommy and daddy tackle me to change my diaper, smearing food all over myself and whatever else is in reach, watching Spongebob and/or Toy Story for the millionth time, poking my baby brother, trashing my room several more times, and throwing temper tantrums because I can't watch Spongebob and/or Toy Story again.
Then it's bed time and you guessed it my final chance to trash my room, in the dark this time!
Why do I do these things you ask, Because I'm two and I can.

The Dictatorship of "Toy Story"

2005-06-08T22:38:00.000-06:00

It's obvious that Woody is in charge of the toys in Andy's room because he is the favorite. Who established this system? No one voted for him to be in charge. When Buzz comes along and threatens Woody's rein, he knocks him out the window. Clearly Woody has some control issues and violent tendencies as seen when he throws checkers because slinky dog isn't waiting to play with him. Mr. Potato Head seems more than happy to get ride of Woody, so could it be that not everyone is happy with the dear leader?
Next time: "What is he thinking?!" a day in the shoes of a 2 year old.

The disturbing inaccuracies of Spongebob

2005-06-07T22:23:00.000-06:00

I have a son who loves Spongebob. It makes him laugh although I never know why he is laughing. So if anyone watches as much Spongebob as I do (unlikely) you know what I'm talking about.
Why does it snow under water? Why does Gary the snail meow? Why do they have a beach and an ocean to go swimming when they are already under water? Isn't it wrong that Mr. Crabs sell Crabby patties? Why is Mr. Crabs daughter a whale? I know, I know, who cares it's only a cartoon show but this is what I have to think about all day.
Next time: The Dictatorship of "Toy Story"

nothing very important

2005-06-07T18:37:00.000-06:00

I just thought I'd jump on the band wagon. I don't have no learnin' so I'm sure I don't have anything important to say but who cares right.