A New Year

I am not going to admit to the typical desires of losing weight etc. My goal for this year is to become stronger. In every sense of the word, stronger.
Stronger physically. I really want to be able to keep up with my children. I hate getting tired after only a few runs down the sledding hill (or a few climbs up actually)
Stronger emotionally. I don't want to be so affected by minor things, and so reliant on others for my emotional well being.
Stronger mentally. I need to have a better understanding of the world I live in and how I can make it better.
Stronger spiritually. I need to feel the spirit in my home more. To know that my children feel it.

I would also like to be a stronger wife, mother, and daughter.

Life is good!!!

Life is essentially good. I have three wonderful, heathy, children. My husband is amazing and works so hard for us. I'm so lucky to be able to stay home with my children. I may not have all the opportunities that I'd like right at my fingertips but I have hope that I will someday reach those goals. My kids are messy but things can be cleaned. My husband is not always as attentive as I'd like but he loves us. I may not have the kind of friendships that I'd like to have with people who live close to me, but I have an incredible support system in my branch.
I am working on accepting that I have a mental illness, the same as if I had a physical illness. No matter how I feel or what I think, life is never as bad as it seems.

I want to go back in time.

I'd like the ability to go back in time to when my kids were babies. Everytime I need a baby to hold I can just go hold my own without having another one.
I love everything about having a new baby. The smells, the sounds, the cuddling, the cute tiny body parts, having someone to watch the Twilight Zone with at 2am, etc etc.
But hard as I try to keep them babies, they keep growing up. I love watching them grow up but a large part of me still needs a baby. Will I ever get to the point where I'm ok with not having a baby? Maybe I need a job where I take care of babies all day.

Molly's little hide-out

Molly got a new bed. Right now it's in the dining room and has become her sancuary. she drags her toys in there and her lunch and everything else she can get her hands on. Her brothers are not allowed to bother her in her car.

Poor Poor Molly

Molly has pneumonia and had to be in the hospital for a little while. Trying to get an IV started in an 18 month old is no picnic. After all the attention she has gotten over the past week she has really turned into a beast. She is quite indignant that we haven't given her brothers up for adoption in order to focus all our time and attention on her. How dare we. She has perfected the "but I'm sick" look, not to mention the sad cough.
She looks awfully happy for a sick kid and charmed all the nurses. Random people walking by her room would come in to say hello because they heard her giggling.

Kids ruin all my fun!!!

I told the kids yesterday when we bought the egg decorating kits, that we would decorate the eggs on friday. I guess they took that to me as soon as it was friday they could do it themselves.
I came down the stairs this morning to a lovely pink and blue carpet in my living room, raw eggs every where, and both egg kits totally destroyed. Ugh, WHY?!

My kids are growing up.

Liam is 6 and Harry is 4! We asked the boys what they wanted for their birthdays a while ago. Liam asked to go to the Nickelodean amusement park at the Mall of America, and Harry asked for his babysitter Dana. So on the 31st of Jan. we drove the 6 hours (both ways) to the cities, and took Dana with us. She apparently belongs to Harry now.
We had a great time. Even Molly had fun even though she's too little to ride anything.





Driving Big rigs like Uncle Mark.

Molly modeling a cool SpongeBob hat.

With Dana at Wendy's on the way home from the Mall.

Babies on the brain

I can't stop thinking about babies. I was doing some online window shopping and found the cutest things. How do I stop this obsession?!